Everywhere you look, “experts” and everyday people are talking about love. It’s the one topic that never goes out of style, inspiring everything from wars to masterpieces. Yet even as the self-help industry explodes and access to information expands, experiencing lasting personal transformation remains more conceptual than practical.
If you are ready for more than a good idea, then I have the antidote. And if you have been searching for a practice that guarantees a radical revolution in any relationship, look no further. Welcome to quantum love.
What is Quantum Love?
Quantum as used here simply refers to a certain amount of concentrated energy.
Love is used to mean the sum of core virtues. For the sake of this article, think of love as the stew created when the kindness, patience, self-control, truth, harmony, commitment and joy are combined, and then expressed through thought, word and action.
This is more than a New Age concept; it’s an age-old devotion. Throughout every spiritual tradition and culture, you will find mention of some element of quantum love. Whether it’s expressed as compassion, detachment, forgiveness, devotion, harmony or hospitality, there is a universal imprint that whispers, “You are responsible for how you show up in the world, and the world will mirror you.”
So altogether, quantum love is a practice of using concentrated energy to embody the sum of all virtues through your thoughts, words and actions.
What Quantum Love is Not
Because it can be all too easy to dismiss quantum love as another woo-woo methodology without merit, here are a few points that must be made.
Quantum love is not a fix-your-relationship-overnight scheme.
Quantum love is not new (even if the terminology is).
Quantum love is not a walk in the park, especially if you have an ego the size of the Eiffel Tower (*ahem* like I do).
Quantum love is not about perfection.
Quantum love is not about getting who you want when you want them in all the ways you want them or manipulating others to act the way you think they should act.
Quantum love is not a spiritual “hack” that caters to your inability to be with discomfort.
Quantum love is not a badge of honor you tote around to which others must bend the knee.
Rather, quantum love is …
a lifelong practice that will transform your relationships, beginning with you.
an age-old art and science that has found its way into modern remembrance.
an invitation to practice love as a devotion, rather than just experience it as a feeling.
an initiation into loving as a spiritual practice.
a paradoxical pathway that is both a process and a product, a journey and a destination.
a reward unto itself that can shift everything from your perspective to your biochemistry.
So Where to Begin? The ABC’s of Quantum Love
How do you put this technology into practice so that you can begin alchemizing your life and relationships? Here are the top three practices that I have found to be immensely transformative in walking the path of quantum love.
A – Acceptance
Acceptance is being with the world as it appears to you now. It is not approval or agreement; it is simply being with an experience rather than judging or trying to change it. It is easy to believe you must approve of the actions or beliefs of those with whom you relate. Yet, the true alchemy happens when you simply accept it.
Practice saying, “I see this. I accept this. It’s all good,” the next time something really gets your goat. Remember that what you resist persists in all ways. If you fight something, even mentally, it will fight you back. Instead, let it be.
B – Becoming
Becoming is taking responsibility for giving yourself what you most desire by practicing that which you most want to receive. If you would like more attention from your partner, begin with giving yourself more attention. You may eventually graduate to giving your partner attention without expecting anything in return.
You may have heard this a million times, but how many times have you practiced it?
When you expect that which you do not embody, you are asking natural law to go against itself. But it can’t. You can only have that which you choose to cultivate, even if only energetically. Haven’t you noticed that when you feel amazing in an outfit, everything in the world seems to treat you royally? Isn’t it the case that when you have a job it’s easier to attract more?
The proof is all around you. If blame is no longer working, try becoming who you want instead.
C – Consciously Choosing
In life, it can be so easy to fall into a groove of reacting rather than consciously choosing your response. When you consciously choose, you feel your feelings but pause to consider an option that brings you back to taking responsibility for accepting and becoming.
For example: your child lies about turning in an assignment. Normally, you express frustration in a myriad of futile ways. Perhaps you even ignore it, thinking “I can’t deal with this.” Consider how your reactions have been working for you and your child. If the answer is, “Not very well,” then try this:
Take a moment to recalibrate. Before saying anything, do something cathartic or nurturing to release or ease old feelings of anger, disappointment or frustration from your body. Take your time.
What you will discover is that it’s not your child’s actions that are upsetting but your interpretation of them. When you feel more settled, focus on your child’s best attributes. Then, imagine showering them with compliments about these traits you admire. From this space, a solution will appear.
Each of these practices shares a common theme: it retires expectation. In quantum love, expectation stifles love and its possibilities. When we stop judging, blaming, manipulating, punishing and reacting, and use our energy to embody our expectations instead of forcing them on others, miracles abound.
Read More: The Best Buddha Quotes About Self Love
Najwa Immanuel is a freelance writer and modern-day medicine woman based on the East Coast, USA. Her moments are spent studying the energetics of wellness, tending her Substack newsletter, Extraordinary Moments, Everyday Miracles and midwifing persons birthing everything from babies to businesses.
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